If you don't reblog this, you're heartless.
moonleaping: This man was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning he breaks his legs, and every afternoon he breaks his arms. At night, he lies awake in agony until his heart attacks put him to sleep.
africans: basically all my sentences start with one of these ok so basically omg no but seriously actually ok wow ok wow (or wow ok)
a coffee joke.
thetahjmowryblog: a husband and wife are fighting about who has to make coffee in the morning. the wife says “you wake up before me you should do it.” the husband says “it’s part of the cooking so it’s your responsibility.” “no.” the wife says. “it’s in the bible that the man makes coffee.” the husband says “Prove it.” the wife goes and gets the bible and sure enough there it is…”HEBREWS” (he...